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Dar Williams – “The Christians and the Pagans”

December 9, 2010

It’s that time of year. I love it.

I don’t love how Yuletide always seems to bring the self-important, chastising nature of many Pagans into greater relief, though.*

There’s tons of great examples of this sort of childishness among Pagans. But since it’s the season, let’s talk Dar Williams’ mewling crap-fest “The Christians and the Pagans.”

To me, this song is the typical Pagan prodigal-son wish fulfillment fantasy: family kicks out Pagan for being Pagan, Pagan convinces family that Pagan’s religion is real and magical and beautiful, family accepts Pagan for who s/he is.

Oh wait I forgot the part where the family TACITLY ADMITS THAT BEING PAGAN IS BETTER THAN BEING WHATEVER THEY ARE. Examples from the song: the presence of magical Pagan girl reminds the uncle to call his estranged brother, the innocent kid wants to be a Witch too by the end of the song,  and of course, “now when Christians sit with Pagans, only pumpkin pies are burning!”

It’s always the magical Pagan girl that heals families and teaches children, isn’t it? And WHY GOD WHY is there always a pussy little jab at Christianity at the end?

It’s never enough for these Pagans to just be accepted. No, they must ALSO CONVINCE OTHERS of their cool enlightenment-cum-pathos-laden-victimhood-cum-generosity, don’t they?

I declare a moratorium on all Pagan/Christian dialogue. Not until we get our act together, I say. This song and all the others like it (the “no, the REAL Christmas is Pagan!!!!1!!1one! ‘Santa Claus is Pagan Too’” comes to mind) demonstrates to any outside observer with half a brain that our religion is just a shallow Mary Sue reworking of Christianity and nothing more.

Fuck this song. Joyous Yule!


*That article makes no sense, but feel free to indulge in its many gems of territoriality-as-interfaith-dialogue (“Let us remember…that we were here first”) and other puffery, if that’s your thing.


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